Monday, August 30, 2010

She Watched WHAT?!

A few weeks ago, we visited my grandparents in the mountains.  It goes without saying that the kids had a marvelous time, but on the second day, Caly came running up to me after hanging out downstairs for a bit and said,

"MOMMY!  Mommy!  I watched... I watched... um, I watched Dirty Boop!"

Um, excuse me, what?  I inquired again...

"Dirty Boop, Mama!  It was so SILLY!"

What the heck was going on, here?  What was Dirty Boop?  So I did what any good, investigative mother would do.  I asked the 4 year old.  "Hey, what did you guys watch?"

"Betty Boop!  It was GREAT!"


So I brought Caly over and said, "Cal... can you say Betty?"


"Can you say boop?"


"Now say, 'Betty Boop!"

"Dirty Boop!"

Um, no. 

She still calls it Dirty Boop.  And I still crack up, every single time. 

Better yet, I mentioned that my kids loved Betty Boop on Twitter and briefly told how C always called it Dirty Boop and had an interesting experience with my phone's autocorrect:

@monsterchew @zrecsmomMy kids are hooked currently on Betty Boop, or as the younger one calls it, "Dirty Boop". Love it!

@monsterchew @zrecsmom:   btw, my phone autocorrected "Boop" to "nipples". I am DYING of laughter over what that tweet COULD have been. Hahaha!

And I wonder why I get wacked out dirty spam-bots on twitter.  HA! 

Saturday, August 28, 2010

It's a Shame "Contrary" Doesn't Rhyme With "Caly," 'Cause We'd Have an Epic Poem

Those of you who remember my sweet, easy-going first born around 2.5 can go ahead and start chuckling now.  LexBean, (now 4) was a laid back kid, (still is).  Sure, she had her moments of being a crazy 2 year old, but I remember clearly thinking, "Hmmm, terrible 2's?  Not THAT horrible."  Thankfully, I don't think I ever articulated this out loud... particularly to my friends with challenging 2 year olds. 

But out loud or not, my tiny second born?  Yeah, she's teaching me the correct definition of "Terrible 2's"  And in spades. 

That child is the most contrary thing in the universe. 

I'm keeping a sense of humor though... her contrary nature has manifested some seriously ridiculous interactions.  (And if I don't laugh, I'd likely be a half a step away from the Looney Bin, so...)

The other day in Looneyville:

C:  "I want O-MEAL!  I want some O-MEAL please?  Please I have some o-meal?  I WANT SOME O-MEAL!  PLEASE!"  all said as she chased me while carrying and rolling the big container of oatmeal across the floor.

So oatmeal for dinner, it was.  I had some frozen blueberries that I wanted to toss in.  But I'm a veteran mother... I asked the girls before doing that.  They answered with a resounding "YES!"

So I plopped in a bunch of blueberries and spooned out three bowls for the kids. 

Sayer:  *Nom, nom, nom, nom*

Lex:  "YUM!  Blueberries!  Oh, YUM!" 

C:  "I don't WANT BLUEBERRIES!  I DON'T LIKE BLUEBERRIES!  Mama, I don't WANT blueberries!" 

I sighed, grabbed her bowl, and decided to quickly spoon out the blueberries.  I'd had enough tantrums for the day.  I handed her back the bowl.  She took one bite.  ONE bite.  Then she looked at her sister's bowl, looked at me, picked up her bowl, shoved it in my direction and said, "I please have some blueberries?"

I don't think she understood why I started cackling.

A handful of blueberries was haphazardly tossed into her bowl.  "There YA GO, LITTLE GIRL!"  and I cackled my way off to the sink. 

Not two seconds later, I hear a determined little voice say, "Ma-MA.  I don't WANT blueberries."  She resolutely pushed her bowl away.  "Mama...  I have a cookie?"

I kid you not. 

I laugh... because, if I don't laugh?  I'll never make it out alive. 

Thursday, August 26, 2010

I'm Alive... I'M ALIVE!

My Mom left me a message today that said, "Ohhh JEN!  Where arrrrre you?  Maybe you should just text me and say, "I'm alive!"

(I have to say, the message cracked me up.  Though I was half-tempted to email her and say, "I'm ALIVE!  But I've been kidnapped by a group of Nigerian terrorists and all you have to do to set me free is send your bank account number and they will wire the sum of $42,203,234 to your account... then, they will transfer it out and in exchange, my freedom and 20%!"  Heh.)

Anyway, I am alive and well and pregnant and all that.  Shaun whisked me, the kids, the dogs, and the majority of our household possessions into the family vehicles and up into the mountains for a little family vacation.  In exchange for the getaway, we sacrificed cell and internet service.  It was actually really nice!

But we are glad to be home.

With 549 pictures, 2 pounds of sand, and 470 acorns to show for it.

But the pictures, in particular, will have to wait til tomorrow.  Right now?  I have a date with my bed.  Shaun's at a soccer game.  I think I got the better end of this deal.

Either way... here's one to tide you over :)

Sassy little monkeys, no?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Whew, I Need a Vacation from Our... Vacation?

We've been a trifle busy lately.  You know, with the floor renovations, kidney stones, and random trips out of town.

Wait, what?  Yeah, a little of each. 

I posted awhile back about the question of whether to do hardwood floors or laminate.  We ended up deciding on hardwood, mostly because we found a stellar deal at Home Depot which, combined with Shaun's military discount, was a price we couldn't beat.  So we, (OK, Shaun), hauled like 16 boxes of flooring into our house and let them set up camp in our kitchen.  Sweet!  Except we didn't have time to install them for like a month.  So, there they sat.  Hanging out while we gallivanted here and there and everywhere.

Then we traveled to Baltimore, (not much of a commute, but it was fun to stay in the city), with Sayer for Shaun's work conference.  It was surprisingly more enjoyable than I thought it would be, (because truly, for this introvert, meeting about 100 people and socializing for 5 full days sounded exhausting!  But it turned out nicely). 

The second to last day, I had a kidney stone attack which was as wretched as it sounded.  But I mended quickly.  And we came home for a day before leaving for Deep Creek for a family reunion-esque thing at my grandparent's house.  That was A LOT of fun for everyone and I'll post more later with some pictures, but for now, I'm without a camera cord. 

We came back and ambled through our routine for a few days.  Shaun pulled a piece of the carpet up to prepare for laying the new floor and we were treated to a pleasant surprise.  Hardwood floors!  In decent enough shape that we just needed to clean them up and we could avoid the refinishing.  Sweet!  We were able to take the floors we purchased back to home depot and reveled in the unexpected bonus. 

A few days later, we had our anniversary.  An idea stolen from good friends:  every year we alternate who plans the adventures for that day.  This was Shaun's year.  My sweet husband took off of work and we started the morning as a family and headed to the mall.  He sent me to get a pedicure and a haircut.  Two things that I rarely ever do for myself, so I appreciate them so much.  He and the kids ran around the mall and had themselves a ball.  Then he helped me pick a new shirt out, (and he has great taste, so this was fun for both of us).  We met his mom for a quick lunch then we went on a secret adventure. 

He drove us to the church that we were married in and set up having our awesome friend Kyle there to take some candid pictures of the whole family.  We showed the kids the church and let them clamber around.  (Bean was captivated! Weddings!  Big windows!  PRETTINESS!  It was very cute).  It was fun to reminisce about how far we've come as a family since that day. 

Then we got some ice cream and sent the kids to Shaun's parents' house for the evening.  We had a FANTASTIC dinner at La Scala in Little Italy and enjoyed taking our time and talking together. 

But then...  then the evil kidney stones came back.  By the time we got Sayer and headed home, my kidney was screaming.  It got worse and worse until I couldn't handle it anymore and for the first time out of all of my attacks, I woke Shaun and told him we had to go into the hospital.  Took Sayer back to my in-laws where he tried to party til 4am.  I got some relief at the hospital and was back home the next morning, better and on the mend with more effective, (and safe) drugs in case of another attack. 

That was Monday into Tuesday.  On Wednesday evening, Shaun pulled the rest of the carpet up and realized something quite sad...  there were enough blemishes and scratches to really necessitate a good refinishing.  So he looked at me and sent me away, back up to Deep Creek.  Three hours each way with three kids. Alone.  Eep!  But, with the promise of returning home on Saturday, I figured I could handle three days and two nights.  Plus, I have the best grandparents ever and the kids absolutely delight in being there. 

Saturday rolled around and I was pretty done with being completely disconnected from my cell phone and the internet, (I know, leave me alone), so we decided to head home.  However, due to some complications, the floors weren't finished.  So we ended up staying at my fantastic sister-in-law's place, (they're at the beach).

And we're still here.  It's Wednesday.  We SHOULD be back home either tomorrow or Friday.  Although, the more time that passes, the easier it gets.  The kids are getting used to the new rooms and routines and actually, are sleeping fairly well.  (Sayer crashed for 9.5 hours straight last night... Ah-mazing).  I can handle anything on good sleep.  But I miss my  bed and my husband, (he's at our house so he can let the dogs out), and the familiar routine of being in our house.

So there... there you have our craziness for the last two or three weeks.  Oh yes, and I'm still all pregnant and craving weird foods.  (And who am I kidding?  Acting like a loon, too).  If you actually read all of this, not only do you have more of a knowledge of our happenings lately than most.  And you deserve a brownie.  So, come visit and I'll bake a batch.  I might eat a few, but I'll share. 

That's that!  Now that I've given you every excuse in the book for my absence, (kidney stones!  lack of internet!  no camera cord!  sleepless kids!  conferences!  laziness!  wait, what?!)

But I'm back, Jack.  :)

Sunday, August 8, 2010

5 Random Randoms

1.  Turdles - I dare you to look at this and not laugh.  However, upon more investigation, I've come to discover that a "turdle" is actually a turtle shaped item made from some sort of dung to fertilize gardens.  The garden accessory that you've always wanted! Also, the guy in the pic is apparently a bit of a cult hit in his funny but irreverent Etsy shop, which can be found here

2.  I had a dream last night starring a ghetto squirrel wearing a knit hoodie that said, "What The Suck?!"  It was literally knit into the sweater, as if his fuzzy little squirrel grandmom lovingly took the time to put it into the design in a nicely contrasting yarn.  Every time I looked at him, he'd tip his head sideways, look at me and say, "Whaaaaaaaa?" while flashing a gang sign.  It. Was. Weird.  Thank you pregnancy.

3.  There's this: 

No, I don't know why I look like a loon.  Nor do I know why my sister looks confused.  Maybe she's wondering why I'm cackling behind her.  There are rarely reasons for my cackle. 

4.  Right around Christmas, we're driving to TX.  With three kids.  and 6 month pregnant me.  Yes, driving.  In 2.5 days.  I am TERRIFIED.  Start sending your travel tips now.  (And chocolate.  And money for the therapist bills.  And fried rice wouldn't hurt).

5.  It's 10:30 in the morning.  I've already had a Heritage Dr. Pepper, (they're baaaaack!), some water, a bowl of cereal, some peach slices, a chocolate chip cookie, (not sure how I stopped at one), and three giant bowls of salad.  Moving onto ice cream, apples, cheese, and perhaps watermelon before noon. 

C'mon, gimme something random about YOU.

Friday, August 6, 2010

A Little Letter

Dear Mama,

Well, that's what the other kids call you, so I suppose I'll follow suit.  As I get bigger, I'm starting to make my preferences known.  As you've recently found out, my favorite food is fried rice.  Fried rice for dinner.  Fried rice for snacks.  Fried rice for breakfast.  I can't get enough.  I'm also partial to mashed potatoes, ridiculous amounts of watermelon, and tomatoes and mozzarella.  I know, I have quite the palette for one so young. 

Thanks for indulging me...  after all, when I'm happy, you're happy.  You're learning that quite quickly.

In return for your giving into my every whim, I'm wearing you out on an almost constant basis.  Thankfully, the other kids are nice enough to let you nap at least once a day, so I don't feel too badly on this front.  And really, after having the kids that you had before me, you kind of knew what you were getting into, right?

I'm growing like a weed, (it's all that fried rice... right?) and developing right on par.  You're pretty obsessed with tracking my progress, and that's ok... it's generally something new every day, so you have plenty to learn about.

The other kids are clueless about me.  Can you do something about that?  It's beginning to dampen my self-esteem.  In any case, they'll know about me in about 6 and a half months, so I guess it's ok.  Besides, I'm busy doing things like growing arms and legs, eyelids and fingernails.   I'll be practicing my swallowing skills and learning how to wedge my feet into your ribs while executing perfect forward rolls within my snug little home. 

So yes, I'm looking forward to actually seeing you and that Daddy guy and those other three noisy little people come March.  For now, keep feeding me fried rice and watermelon, and I'll keep growing like it's my job.  ('cause it is).

Love, love,

Your very favorite Baby #4, Due March 19th.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

These Actually Came Out of My Mouth

"Please do not put the toilet seat on your head."

"Um, no, I don't think ducks have b00bies"

"Boogers will not help you grow like broccoli will.  Even if they are both green."

"I am TOTALLY going to take away your peas if you don't stop....  OK, I'm taking them!  You're ok with that?  Crap." 

"If you don't stop all that noise and go to sleep, I'm going to put you outside with the bears!"

And they say being a parent is boring.  Hah.
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