Friday, July 27, 2012

You'll Look Twice at That Dropped Potato Chip

The county built a beautiful new park nearby and my kids and I had been itching to go. However, I don't function in heat, (read: I turn into a melting grouch who whines for iced coffee and a cabana boy to fan me in the shade), so we'd been putting it off for awhile. But a streak of 70 degree days had us scrambling to meet a friend and her two kids for a playdate in the sun.

The kids had a ball running around and trying out the new equipment. They only came to ask for food about 11 times instead of 235. An aside... what is it about going places that makes kids "hungry?" You know they're not hungry. You know this because they ate a full sandwich, yogurt, a pound and a half of fruit, and 37 pretzels before they left the house.

Around the 11th ask, it actually was lunch time, so we staked out a shady area on the turf, not far from the base of one of the slides. The kids happily munched away while we moms chatted.

A few minutes into lunch, inevitably, the newly potty-trained Sayer abruptly stood up and announced, "Mama! I have to pee!" I turned away for a second to put my sandwich down and said, "K, bud, let's go to the--"

I turned back around in time to see that my dear, sweet son had dropped his drawers right where he was standing and was happily creating a nice puddle of pee at the base of the slide. Horrified, I turned towards my friend whose eyes got wide. The two of us started shaking with laughter as we stared at S who was completely obvlivious. 

And of course, this was the longest pee of his life. Or maybe it just felt that way.

Cheeks burning and tears of laughter rolling down my face, I couldn't even look up to see if anyone else was watching. S finished his business, yanked up his pants, asked for "sanny-tize" and sat down expectantly.

I hurridly grabbed two half empty bottles of water from the stroller and started splashing them on the wet spot on the astroturf. This did not help the moisture problem. I now had the beginnings of a bigger puddle, this one of watered down pee.

Of course, I looked up to see a few moms who were staring at me funny, probably wondering why a sane looking woman was dumping bottles of water onto the ground at the very bottom of the slide. I caught the eye of one woman and quickly stepped in front of the emptying bottle to hide it from view and then waved.

She just stared. Which made sense because not only was I still obviously dumping water, but now that the bottle was behind me, it looked as if I was the one peeing all over the place.

The bottles emptied and I decided that nothing more could be done.

But when my daughter dropped a piece of apple onto the turf and made a motion to pick it up and eat it anyway, I may have ninja chopped it out of her hand.

Because REALLY, who KNOWS what people do on that ground?! Sheesh.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012


We all have those days. Those days when you've given a thousand kisses. When everyone is hanging on you, needing attention. When you've hauled around a toddler who seems allergic to the floor. There are those days when everyone wants something, anything, everything. And there's only one of you for a thousand needs. There are those days when the house is a mess, the kids are a mess... when you are a mess. When you have nothing else to give and you're empty, wanting to shout, "NO MORE!" with your hands over your ears.

And those little faces look up expectantly, so you don't.

Sometimes... sometimes those days come with rewards.

Sayer happened to be the last one to go to bed tonight, due to a late nap. As he wandered into my room asking, "can we just stay awake for a whittle bit more? And den I'll go in my bed," I asked him if he wanted to rock in the rocking chair with me like we used to do when he was younger. Smiling, he climbed into my lap, all solid arms and strong legs. He tucked his back against my chest and we grinned at our reflections in the mirror across the room.

I remarked to him, "You're getting so long! When you were teeny tiny, I could fit all of you on my lap."

He nodded seriously and said, "Yup. I am big. And Mama?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"When I get even bigger and bigger and bigger? And when I'm bigger than you and you're little?"

I smiled at the thought, "Yeah?"

"When I'm that big, I can snuggle you up on my lap and rock you and protect you from all the monsters." He patted my leg.

I had to swallow a lump in my throat as I snuggled him close. "You will? That's very sweet, buddy."

"Yup. Because Mama? That's what you do for me 'cause I'm little."

Indeed it is.

So, those days when you don't know if you can give anymore... Those beautiful kids that you pour all of your love, affirmation, encouragement, and belief into? They fill up and a little of it spills over and back into you.

And you can thank God for the reminder that your efforts are not in vain. That they hear, absorb, listen and know your love.

So, draw strength and carry on.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Kidisms - Episode # 11209

Driving in the car the other night, Sayer was nearly asleep when an ambulance drove by, lights flashing, siren wailing. He immediately gasped and shouted, "MOM! Did you SEE that?! I just saw... I just saw... I saw an ALIEN!"

"An alien?"

"YEAH! It had shiny lights and sounded like this, 'A woooooo woooooo!' An alien!"

I grinned, "An ambulance?"

He grinned back, "Yeah! An... annnn AM-BU-WANCE!"

I love kid mispronounciations. You'd think they'd disappear as the kids got bigger, but Lex had one of her own the other day that had me rolling in laughter.

We were at a minor league baseball game waiting to let the kids run the bases. Along the field line, they had a few staffers in super hero costumes, which of course, delighted my kids.

We recognized Batman, Superman, and most of the usual ones. Then there was a guy in a green costume, carrying a bow and arrow.  Lex wasn't sure who it was so she asked her cousin. She came back to tell me what she found out. "Mom, that one over there is Hot Guy!"

I tried to swallow my laughter and asked her to repeat herself.

"Hot Guy! Tucker told me it was Hot Guy! I like him and his bow and arrow. And I totally got to high five Hot Guy! Awesome!"

Michelle and I giggled and then Michelle said, "Hawk Eye?"

Lex looked at us strangely for laughing and said, "Yeah! Hot Guy! Hot.. Eye?"

"Hawk Eye."

"Oh! Hawk Eye!"

Very glad that was far more benign than it sounded.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Oh, Hi!

Posting has been light around these parts. Ok, posting has been non-existent.

My household has run the gamut of childhood illnesses lately. Three kids with hand-foot-mouth resulted in a quarantine that lasted nearly 3 weeks. We managed to get healthy enough to go out and about for the Fourth of July and directly after, ended up sticking close to home due to a stomach bug.

Perpetual illness is a given in a household of four children. One picks something up and unlike with toys, they gladly share it with every sibling that will breathe in the same air. Considering that several of my children have developed a weird habit of covertly licking things, the epidemic nature of germs is amplified.

Today, I made an appointment for Zoen as his stomach bug evolved into a cold which resulted in a wicked cough that had me wondering about pneumonia. (It's not, for the record). I also figured on an ear infection, because when it rains, it pours. (It was). I hauled all four kids into the office, which usually earns me a few, "My, you have your hands full!" (Nah, just my dungeon), or "Oh, these are all yours?" (Nope, stole a few on the way in).

This particular doctor's office has their doctors and nurses do something that leaves me marveling at its brilliance every time we go in. They blow bubbles immediately upon entering the room. The good, long-lasting, Gymboree bubbles. While the kids are chasing the bubbles, I can have a peaceful conversation. Genius. (They also use the bubbles as an evaluative tool, which just adds to the awesome factor).

Remember how I mentioned that they were the Gymboree bubbles? Yeah, those don't necessarily pop when they touch the floor or your head or the examining table. Instead, they stick and wait for a curious finger or foot to pop them.

I was running down the list of Z's symptoms for the doctor and half-paying attention to the older three kids. With my SuperMom underhearing, I caught Sayer excitedly saying, "MOM! I'm lick-popping the bubbles!" I ruffled his hair and started to say, "Cool, buddy!" and then my subconscious screamed, "He's DOING WHAT?!" I looked down just in time to see him stick his tongue all the way out and place it squarely on a bubble that had landed on the examining table. And before I could gather my wits, he dropped down to the floor and lick-popped another one.

I closed my eyes and tried to will my brain not to explode. I also had to swallow a bout of that hysterical laughter that wells up when the situation is too ridiculous to be actual life.

And this isn't the first time this has happened! Caly licked an examining table end to end once when she was about 2. You'd think I'd have taught my children tongue etiquette by now.

The doctor hid a grin and pretended to pull lollipops out of each of the kids' ears. That kept them from licking the trash can, at least.

So, here's a post, but I'm not promising anything regular. The kids probably picked up the Ebola virus or some extraordinarily virulent strain of a germ that causes a full body rash and a delightful case of the crankies.

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