Wednesday, February 16, 2011

"I'm Awake!" Has Two Meanings in This House

I married a great guy. He's a wonderful husband. He's a hilarious and awesome dad to our kidlets. And he's darn good lookin'.

But trying to wake the man up in the middle of the night is like trying to lick your own elbow.

A few nights ago, Sayer(18months), woke up around midnight screaming at the top of his little lungs.  Accordingly, I woke up gasping. One glance over to Shaun confirmed my guess:  He was still sound asleep. After a second of trying not to keel over from the epic heartburn, I decided to tap Shaun to see if he'd go get the little man back to sleep.

*tap, tap*


Slightly harder, *TAP, TAP*  "Shaun!" I hissed.

"What?!  What!?  He leaned up on his elbows and stared at me in the dark.  One of those really creepy unblinking stares.

"Shaun, can you go see what's up with Sayer?"

He kept staring.

"Shaun, go check on Sayer!"

He squinted at me and then said, "Why?"

I paused to listen to Sayer for a second.  He was still yelling.

"Um, do you not HEAR him!?"

Shaun grunted and hoisted himself out of bed.  I heard shuffling around but Sayer kept hollering.  At this point, he'd shifted to, "NO! NO!" because the kid has gained opinions and apparently?  Shaun wasn't doing what Sayer was demanding.

Then, quiet.  Shaun came back in and fell into bed.  Sweet!  Mission accomplished.

Until 1 am.  Then, little man turned the pipes on again.  Still feeling gross and having just gotten back to sleep, I poked Shaun again.


"Go deal with Sayer."


"Shaun." *Poke, poke* "Shaun!"

He sat halfway up, gasped in shock, and said, "WHAT?!"

"Go deal with Sayer!"

"Ok."  And then, he put his head back on the pillow and picked up his cell phone and began scrolling through his facebook stream.

"SHAUN!" I snapped.

"Why are you YELLING at me?!" He sat up and looked totally confused.  I pointed at the monitor and he finally got out of bed and tended to sleep-opposed Sayer.

He's not being a punk.  And he's genuinely helpful.  But how that man sleeps through the siren like wail of his kid, I'll never know.  It's a darn good thing they keep me around.

Best part?  When asked in the morning, he has a vague recollection of Sayer waking a couple of times, but that's about it.  I'm thinking about pawning off all night wakings on him.  After all, if he doesn't remember, he doesn't know how tired he's supposed to be.  Right?


  1. Holy crap that sounds just like my hubby!! It drives me nuts...he's crazy in his sleep...and then NEVER remembers a thing! I told him I will have to protect us if anybody ever broke in. He would never hear it!

  2. I've had the pleasure of trying to wake Shaun up while driving at 80mph at 3am on Interstate 40. And to clarify... Shaun was driving. I learned very quickly how well I could drive from the passenger seat. :-)

  3. Did you bug my bedroom and post a transcript on your blog?! I am CRACKING UP!! I usually get a "WHAT?!" with a huge gasp like the house is on fire... and then no memory later of the exchange. Sometimes the ordeal is so traumatic for ME that my heart is pounding and I can't get back to sleep.

  4. You just wrote my life story as a mommy!! Seriously, how do our husbands sleep like that? I only wish I could have a night so gloriously oblivious of all that is going on around me!!

  5. ...and here is further proof that we are in fact married to the same man (in two different bodies)

  6. Upon reading the comments I'm beginning to think ALL dads magically begin sleeping like the dead once they have kids so that the moms will give in and deal with night time stuff themselves! 'Cause I totally just came here to say that we must be married to the same man, but it seems everyone else is too. Hmmm... I feel suspicious.

  7. Lol. Somehow my husband is such a light sleeper that our newborn couldn't sleep in the same room as us...yet such a deep sleep he NEVER hears her now, at 19 months old. Hmm.

    Must just be a mama thing!

  8. Same issue, but flipped in our house. I was up five times with Abby, in and out of her bed. Anny had NO idea in the morning!

  9. He sounds just like Jon! And he has even picked up his iPod when I have woken him to look on Facebook. He'll sleep through anything. So, I feel your pain! But that is a good strategy. Just wake him and he won't remember it.


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