Wednesday, December 29, 2010


I think when you're handed your kid for the first time, you inadvertently sign a contract that waives your rights to certain privileges for all occasions in the  foreseeable future.

1.  Personal Space - From the beginning, small children thrive when invading your personal space.  Your baby wants to be held?  He or she has NO qualms squealing until you pick them up and snuggle them.  This is why babies are cute.  So we don't mind the invasion so much.  Then they get bigger and gain this weird need to try to climb back into your body.  Or at least that's what you assume they're doing as they jockey for space on your head.

2.  Your Right to be Alone in the Bathroom - You will rarely, if ever, go to the bathroom without a little person "keeping you compa-dee" or at the very least, pounding on the door and little fingers sticking things under the cracks.  Efforts to instill a barrier with the lock will result in at least one of your children becoming a stellar locksmith.

3.  Regular Showers - Remember the days when you showered every morning or every evening?  Remember when you didn't feel the need to lean your face down for a covert sniff to see if you're passable for public interaction?  Yeah, me neither.  Also, if you manage to get a shower, don't expect to complete it without a little face snatching back the curtain, peering in, and saying, "Mama?  Whatcho doing?"

4.  Eating Your Whole Plate of Food, By YOURSELF - You can serve the exact same dinner on two plates, giving one to your child and keeping one for yourself and every single time, you'll find your child eying your plate up and saying, "Mommy?  I want a bite of YOUR food!"  It's even worse when you try to eat something different than what they have.  Never mind that they have formerly professed their undying hatred of broccoli. If it's on your plate, it's suddenly as appetizing as a candy bar.  But obviously, forget using this to get your kids to eat vegetables.  They'll see through your plan in a hot second.

5.  White Clothing Items/Dressy Clothes- I think this is a no-brainer.  You can only fend off sticky fingers for so long.  And if you manage to get dressed to go out, you'll lean down to give your kid a hug and they'll do one of the following:  a) Throw-up on you.  b) Wipe boogers on you.  c) Have a marker in hand when they hug you.  Etc.

"But I wanna HUG, Mama!"

It's a darn good thing they're so cute.


  1. My mom always says that kids are so cute so we don't leave them places. Because sometimes? Sometimes I really want to.

  2. I have had every single one of these things happen to me in the 22 months I've been a mother. Every. Single. One. Oy!

  3. LOL @ Amy's comment! I so have the same feelings sometimes.

    Ah Jen isnt life as a parent great. No private time what so ever. No food that blongs to just you. No rest and relaxation.

    I always has amazed me at how my attitude towards fashion and what clothing is acceptable in public has changed since i had kids. I use to not dare leave the house looking below "standard" now if i have to run out i often dont even bother brushing my hair much less changing out of my sweats lol.

  4. Indeed the saving grace they have is that they are darned cute!

  5. Hi! Just found you on Twitter through a RT that Jen from Buried With Children posted...I'm so glad that I did! I love this post! (also loved Amy's comment).

    Anyways, nice to meet you and look forward to getting to know you better! Every Saturday, I post a list of my favorite posts I found throughout the week - this one will definitely be on it :)

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  7. ((Edited!)) Oh my gosh! Number 4!!! Sometimes I just starve until 8 (when he goes to bed) because I'm not in the mood for a lap piranha!
    Love this blog... I found it on Natalie's post this morning!

  8. Those are great!!! And so true- gosh darn it!!! But at least we can get a laugh about it. I am visiting via Mommy of a Monster!!

  9. Man, I read #3 and nodded and laughed! I actually forget to take a shower sometimes. So sad.

    And I can't tell you how much I love it when my twins follow me into the bathroom, tell me what I'm doing (cause I wasn't sure), and then ask if they can help. Uh, no, I'm good, thanks. It's like the one time that they AREN'T interested in Kai-Lan.


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