The Best Laid Plans of Mice, Men, and Moms of Three Kids

We were slated to be somewhere at 10am.  I planned accordingly, had the kids dressed, fed, ready by 9:15am.  Then the little one pooped. 

(And yes, I half considered stuffing him into the car seat anyway.  But fear not for his behind...)

I unbuckled his seat and reached under him to lift him out.  And felt the tell-tale warmth of the product of his efforts seeping out of his drawers and onto my hand.  Ew.

He kicked his legs and cooed while he waited for me to finish cleaning him up and put some clothes back on his chubby body.  After the 13th wipe, I deemed him clean and started to slide his diaper under his bottom.

He chose that minute to poop again.  On my hand. 

I screeched.  The girls came running.  C pointed to his diaper and repeated, "EW!" over and over again.

Exactly.

I cleaned myself up with another pile of wipes and started to slide another diaper under his rear.

And then he peed.  On me.

I quickly smothered the stream with his diaper and waited.  After a bit, I lifted it off and checked.  Cool, he was done.

Or not.  He peed again.  On Bean.

"SAYER PEED ON ME! HE PEED ON MY HAND!!!  EWWWWWWWWW!"  Bean shrieked and ran around in spastic circles in the living room, trying to simultaneously take off her wet shirt and shake the pee off of her hand.

At this point, there was pee all over the outside of his diaper as well as the inside so I had to reach for another one.  He took full advantage of the split second he was free in the wind and peed again.  On C.

"EEEEWWWW!"  C followed Bean around, imitating her hysterics. 

I couldn't help it, I started cracking up.

I was laughing so hard that I had tears streaming down my face.  The kids stopped their insanity and stared at me.  Their mom had lost her mind.

And then they started laughing too. 

And really, what else could we have done? 

After the 4 of us got fresh outfits and managed to cram into the car, it was 9:55am. 

So much for on time.