Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Best Laid Plans of Mice, Men, and Moms of Three Kids

We were slated to be somewhere at 10am.  I planned accordingly, had the kids dressed, fed, ready by 9:15am.  Then the little one pooped. 

(And yes, I half considered stuffing him into the car seat anyway.  But fear not for his behind...)

I unbuckled his seat and reached under him to lift him out.  And felt the tell-tale warmth of the product of his efforts seeping out of his drawers and onto my hand.  Ew.

He kicked his legs and cooed while he waited for me to finish cleaning him up and put some clothes back on his chubby body.  After the 13th wipe, I deemed him clean and started to slide his diaper under his bottom.

He chose that minute to poop again.  On my hand. 

I screeched.  The girls came running.  C pointed to his diaper and repeated, "EW!" over and over again.


I cleaned myself up with another pile of wipes and started to slide another diaper under his rear.

And then he peed.  On me.

I quickly smothered the stream with his diaper and waited.  After a bit, I lifted it off and checked.  Cool, he was done.

Or not.  He peed again.  On Bean.

"SAYER PEED ON ME! HE PEED ON MY HAND!!!  EWWWWWWWWW!"  Bean shrieked and ran around in spastic circles in the living room, trying to simultaneously take off her wet shirt and shake the pee off of her hand.

At this point, there was pee all over the outside of his diaper as well as the inside so I had to reach for another one.  He took full advantage of the split second he was free in the wind and peed again.  On C.

"EEEEWWWW!"  C followed Bean around, imitating her hysterics. 

I couldn't help it, I started cracking up.

I was laughing so hard that I had tears streaming down my face.  The kids stopped their insanity and stared at me.  Their mom had lost her mind.

And then they started laughing too. 

And really, what else could we have done? 

After the 4 of us got fresh outfits and managed to cram into the car, it was 9:55am. 

So much for on time. 


  1. I'm so glad you can laugh at these things -- I need to do a little more laughing and a little less anger when my plans are spoiled. :)

  2. oh bless your heart!! I have sooo been there. with boys its a whole new world. when we had our first...he used to get me on a regular basis...and my husband bragged how he could do it better w/ out getting peed on.
    so one night C was changing him and K peed on him on our bed...C decided to give him a bath so they could both get cleaned up. now while they bathed i changed the sheets on the bed. they got out of the tub and before i could get out to wrap him up he was peeing all over C and the bed again. 3 times i wound up changing sheets that
    but at least he finally got his daddy.
    you have to laugh at the stuff like that or you will go nuts...

  3. Oh who cares if you're on time, you have three children! I'm late because of Abby all the time, even if we're going different places!

    If anyone questions you, have the little guy pee on them! :o)

  4. Oh, my. Guess that's what happens when you have a plan - or think you do! Love the joy you have for life!

  5. Oh the joys of boys (or girls as my sister informs me that girls can also pee on you)! Infants do make for the best stories though!

  6. Oh my word! That is one of the best stories!!! LOVE IT! and LOVE YOU!

  7. HILARIOUS!!!! My husband FREAKED when he got pee or poo on his hands when Aiden was a baby. Thankfully he's chilled out more now. Because as you know, everybody poops ;-)


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