A Human Baby Would Be Fine, Thanks

I'm the mother of girls.  Two rosy, beautiful, hilarious girls.  And I love every ounce of it.

When I started sharing that I was pregnant with my third, the exchange usually went something like this,

"I'm having another baby!"

"Oh!  Congratulations!  Hoping for a boy?"

"We'd be excited with either," I'd say flatly.

When we found out that our third was, in fact, a boy, the chorus of "You're getting your boy!  Congratulations!" and "I bet you're so excited you're getting a boy this time!" only grew louder.

It happened every time we told someone.  It still happens when we tell someone for the first time.  And it's driving me insane. 

I read an interesting article this week by Amy Wilson. Her situation was in reverse of mine.  The mother of two boys, she becomes pregnant again and is suddenly confronted with everyone from family to strangers making comments such as the ones I received. 

She remarks on why the comments bothered her as much as they did, 

I know these people are just making conversation. But this constant assumption leaves me a little offended. What's wrong with boys? Why wouldn't I want another one? It bothers me that people assume I feel incomplete without a daughter, let alone that it's my motivation for being pregnant with a third child in the first place.

Indeed.  What's wrong with girls?  Why is it assumed that our family is not whole without the addition of a boy?

I'm comfortable as a mom of girls.  I know how to style hair.  I can effectively work pink into any outfit my pink-obsessed daughter wants to wear.  I cherish watching her love on her baby dolls.  And while I know that a boy can be or do anything a girl can and vice-versa, there's something inherently girl about well, girls. 

It's not that I don't want a boy.  I'm excited to head off into that uncharted territory.  But had the sonogram revealed that this baby was going to be a girl, I would have been bouncing off the walls in excitement just as much as I was when we heard the boy news. 

Admittedly, when I found out baby #3 was a boy, I was awash with a considerable dose of apprehension.  I was the mother of girls.  Not boys.  I have two girls with girl clothes and girl hair and girl parts.  I got that.  I mastered that.  (Heck, I was a girl once, too).  Boys?  Not so much. 

They're rough and tumble.  They're constantly on the go.  They are always into mischief.  They pee on EVERYTHING.   They have boundless energy.  They have boy bits.  They're just so... boy.

But as time goes on, I'm more and more excited about the adventure the little guy is sure to bring.  And I'm sure he'll complete our family in his own special way.  But it's not on the merit of his boy-ness. 

Wilson's closing says it best,

I've started telling strangers and basking in their excitement. Yesterday, a security guard asked if I knew what I was having. "I have two boys at home," I said. "This one's a girl."

She inhaled sharply, then smiled, ruefully: "I just had my third. All three boys. You are so lucky." "Thank you," I said, though I still don't really get it. I'm counting on all these people being right: that when I meet this daughter and look in her eyes, I will understand why everyone else so wanted this for me.

And maybe in the same way, when they place my boy on my chest minutes after he's born and I look at his chubby little face, maybe I'll understand too.  

Oh Boy!

Hey Little One,

In 20 weeks, give or take a few, you'll be entering the world and immediately providing your Dad with an ally in a house full of estrogen.  (Seriously, two sisters, a mom, and two girl dogs.  Heck, I think the fish are chicks too).

I'm still thinking about my having a boy in a series of exclamation marks to express my shock.  I have a boy!  A son! What on earth am I going to do with a son!  He has boy parts!  BOY PARTS!  How do I deal with BOY PARTS?!

Thank goodness your Dad will be here to explain the last part to you when the time comes. 

I'm a little nervous, truth be told.  I've heard stories of the early years with boys being hard due to the rough and tumble nature that seems to accompany the male sex from birth onward.  I think C is breaking me in for anything that would come my way in that respect.  You might have your work cut out for you in trying to keep up with her.


During the sonogram, I commented how surprised I was that I felt you move so much less than I used to feel your sisters.  Everything is where it should be in there, it just seems that you're a little more mellow than the girls were.  I did watch you pull your foot back and nearly stick it into your own mouth, so perhaps it's just that I need to wait a bit to feel you start the traditional pummeling of my organs.

I questioned whether the magic of seeing my baby on the sonogram screen would lose its wonder being that this is the third time around.  Not at all.  The wonder of knowing that inside of me, right now, you're growing and changing and yawning and stretching is as amazing as it was the first time.  Every one of you has truly been fearfully and wonderfully made.  And the sheer miracle of that alone astounds me every time.

Keep growing, my little one, my boy, my son.

(And maybe, just maybe, keep leaning on the side of mellow?  please?)

Love,

The Crazy Lady Whose Voice You're Perpetually Hearing
(Hope you like it!)

And Survey Says...

Had the sonogram yesterday and the baby looks wonderful, (though BIG!).  Everything was measuring correctly and all in the right place. 

Including some extra stuff that I hadn't seen on my previous babies. 

It's going to be a sweet baby!

A sweet baby boy :)

(Bean is in a bit of denial... when the sonographer announced the sex, she looked up and said, "Um, it's not a boy, it's a girl.  I want another GIRL!"  She's warmed up a bit since then, but that was pretty funny).