Dear Children

My Dear, Sweet, Rambunctious Children,

I am writing this note to inform you of the proper roles of certain adult members of this household.  If you could kindly adhere to these guidelines, a harmony so great will descend upon our household that angels will sing.

Henceforth, these are roles to be fulfilled by the man of the house, also known as DADDY:

1.  Jungle Gym
2.  Climbing Wall
3.  Trampoline
4.  Pitcher/Catcher
5.  Boogie Man Getter
6.  Bug Killer/Remover
7.  Retriever of Things on High Shelves
8.  Landing Pad

In accordance, these are the roles to be fulfilled by the crazy lady in residence, also known as MOMMY:

1.  Lost Things Finder
2.  Boogie Getter (Note, this is distinctly different than the above #5)
3.  Vegetable Pusher
4.  Midnight Snuggler
5.  Hair Styler
6.  Laundry Doer
7.  Tear Wiper
8.  Matching Outfit Clothier

Please refer to this list in times of doubt... or when you think seat dropping your 26 pound frame on your Mama's pregnant belly is a good idea.  (For reference, it's not.  See DADDY LIST #8).  Or for when you lose your shoes and are trying to get Daddy to help find them, (See MOMMY LIST #1).

All things unlisted are to be equally carried out by both the MOMMY and DADDY, (See 1. Hugs, 2. Kisses, 3. Snuggles, 4. Diaper Changes)

With love,

S Household Management.

And Now For Something Gloriously Self-Indulgent: Stream of Conscious Monday

So.  It's been awhile.  I'm chalking it up to this weird plague I'm fighting.  I'm not exactly sick, in the lay-in-your-bed-and-moan-for-a-day-or-two sense, but I have this stupid hacking cough and feel like I could sleep for about 27 hours a day.   Other than that?  Peachy keen. Or something.

The kids have been remarkably well up til this point, too.  Shaun and Lexi(4), haven't gotten sick at all.  Caly(2), had a runny nose, got better, and then got a runny nose again.  But aside from last night, she's as perky as usual.  Sayer(1) got a runny nose and also acquired the same cough I have, but isn't remotely bothered and has more energy than the rest of us combined.

I seem to be the only one who feels moderately flattened.  As such, my waking hours sans children have been generally spent in a half-asleep stupor or bundled under the covers.

It's cold here. 7 degrees when I woke this morning.  I've completely commandeered Shaun's new fuzzy blanket.  I have no remorse.  It's fuzzy.  It's big.  It's warm.  And I'm pregnant and sort of sick.  Dibs.  

Caly took over the bed last night and got a nosebleed on my flannel sheets.  She's lucky I have a spare pair.  Not that she can help the nose bleeds, but I NEED MY FLANNEL SHEETS.

I use them year round.  I'm weird.  I don't care.

We have entered the season of preschool birthday parties.  I'm not sure what wasn't happening in the world in the spring of 2005, but we sure know a lot of new 5 year olds with birthdays in the next few weeks.  What was that word in Bambi?  Twitterpated?  Uh huh.

I'm still trying to figure out what the epic preschool birthday present would be.  I suppose it'd differ from kid to kid, but there's always those things that all kids just love.  Anyone have input?  I like giving fun presents.

Speaking of birthdays, my first baby is going to be FIVE on Thursday.  FIVE!  Eegads.  I remember things about being five.  I guess this means I have to start operating on the "she's going to remember this in therapy" side of parenting.

She's the only kid in this house with a birthday before the baby comes.  That means that for a short time, I'll have a five year old, a two year old, a one year old, and a newborn.  I'm going to throw a poopy diaper at the first person to make a smart alec remark to me about how my hands are full.

I'm ridiculously excited about this new little man.  Oh!  And we're very, very close to finalizing his name.  (I don't suppose we'll be 100% until he's born, but we're close).  The current choice is unusual like Sayer and was chosen for meaning.  We'll see.  Take a guess if you wish :)

Remarkably, Shaun and I have been able to keep our house at a level above chaos.  That's an accomplishment. Of course, considering that we've reached this milestone, we'll have the baby and possibly descend back into the world of laundry piles and dishes in the sink.  Then, in 2 years, we might have our act together again.

(But that does NOT mean another baby.  At least that's what Shaun says.  OK, I'm thinking that too).

Lex wants these for her birthday breakfast.

She's gotta twist my arm.

And now that I've dumped my brain onto the screen, I'm going to close my eyes for a few minutes.  That'll pretty much ensure Sayer wakes promptly from his nap.  Exactly as I planned.

10 Things

1.  My fridge is full but I can't find anything I want to eat.  Rather, I don't want to cook.  So I ate pretzels and hummus for dinner and I'm about to dish out a gigantic bowl of homemade peanut butter chocolate ice cream.  This is the part of being pregnant that I looooove.

2.  In the course of 12 hours the other day, I was coughed on, peed on, snotted on, pooped on, and thrown up on.  And I don't even have a newborn anymore.  I consider that the day I truly became a Real Mother.  I think I could have raised my kids to adulthood without wanting to know what that was like. 

3.  Caly dumped two entire sample sized bottles of shampoo on her head tonight.  In my bed.  Then she rubbed her eyes.  That chaos was unmet in recent history.  But now?  She's fine, sleeping, and bonus?  She smells fantastic. 

4.  While I was trying to rinse the ridiculous amount of suds out of Caly's hair, Sayer got into the cabinet and into a box of cereal. Rather, he got the cereal out of the box and onto the floor.  He was very, very pleased with himself when he presented me with the box.  Upside-down.  And empty. 

5.  I *think* I'm starting to feel this baby move, which I'm splendidly excited about.  (That's another part of pregnancy I love so much).  Of course, those flutters may be the bean burrito I ate, too. 

6.  This might be the funniest blog post I've read in recent memory.  I had to read it out loud to Shaun, (which I rarely, rarely do), and he laughed out loud.  The end is the best part.

7.  I'm fully addicted to Wordfued, (an app on the Android market, similar to Scrabble).  My user name is monsterchew.  Go ahead, challenge me to a game... I dare you.  :)

8.  Tonight, Caly asked me for a pretzel after we had already brushed her teeth and gotten completely ready for bed.  I said no.  She looked and me and started walking away.  I asked her where she was going and she poked her head back in the room and said, "I go get a pretzel."  Um, no, kid.  NO.  So she said ok, walked out, and the next thing I know, she's walking back in the room with her mouth and both fists stuffed with cereal.  Apparently, I said no pretzels and neglected to tell her no snacks at all. Stinker.

9.  I would like a pet chinchilla.  But I want someone else to take care of it.  I just want to pet it and play with it and tell people that we have a chinchilla.  Because it's just fun to say.  

10.  Lex, my normally pacifistic 4 year old, had a stretch of violence today.  She told Caly in a perfectly teacher-like sing-song voice, "If you don't get off of my puzzle board, I'm going to flick you."  Caly, of course, refused to move, and Lexi followed through.  I sent her to the kitchen to sit in time-out while I comforted the indignant Caly, (who really got what was coming to her, considering the amount she tortures her sister on a regular basis). I asked her why she flicked Caly, (not having completely heard the exchange), and she said, "I told her that if she wouldn't get up, I would be mad and then if she would, I would hug her."  I looked straight at her and said, "No, that's not what you said.  That's a lie."  Her eyes got huge and she said, "How did you KNOW?"  And I restored myself as the master of knowledge in this household,

"Because I'm the Mommy, I know everything."

Unlike last time, today, she didn't question that at all.  Momma's back, Jack... Momma's back.

Here and There and Everywhere

I'm here!  And there.  Two places where I've shown up recently that you might want to check out:

Learning a Latte - I guest posted here yesterday about how we incorporate Montessori concepts in our daily play/homeschooling.  It was fun to write!  She has had guest posts all week with a different style highlighted each day, so be sure to head over if you're interested in homeschooling at all.  Fun reads. 

Just Make it a Double - We're baaaaaack! Remember how Amy and I posted a picture a day and then we fell off of the planet during the summer and you had to look at the same picture every day since June 22nd?  *and inhaaaaale!*  Well, we're back!  And we'll be posting every day barring loss of limb or internet service ;)

And of course, I'm back here on a sporadic basis.  Check out the giveaway from Tuesday and enter already.  Otherwise, gear up for a fall full of fun. (Check out that alliteration!  uh huh!)  'Cause fun is my middle name.  Or not.  But my kids are funny, so I'll write about that. 

Whew, I Need a Vacation from Our... Vacation?

We've been a trifle busy lately.  You know, with the floor renovations, kidney stones, and random trips out of town.

Wait, what?  Yeah, a little of each. 

I posted awhile back about the question of whether to do hardwood floors or laminate.  We ended up deciding on hardwood, mostly because we found a stellar deal at Home Depot which, combined with Shaun's military discount, was a price we couldn't beat.  So we, (OK, Shaun), hauled like 16 boxes of flooring into our house and let them set up camp in our kitchen.  Sweet!  Except we didn't have time to install them for like a month.  So, there they sat.  Hanging out while we gallivanted here and there and everywhere.

Then we traveled to Baltimore, (not much of a commute, but it was fun to stay in the city), with Sayer for Shaun's work conference.  It was surprisingly more enjoyable than I thought it would be, (because truly, for this introvert, meeting about 100 people and socializing for 5 full days sounded exhausting!  But it turned out nicely). 

The second to last day, I had a kidney stone attack which was as wretched as it sounded.  But I mended quickly.  And we came home for a day before leaving for Deep Creek for a family reunion-esque thing at my grandparent's house.  That was A LOT of fun for everyone and I'll post more later with some pictures, but for now, I'm without a camera cord. 

We came back and ambled through our routine for a few days.  Shaun pulled a piece of the carpet up to prepare for laying the new floor and we were treated to a pleasant surprise.  Hardwood floors!  In decent enough shape that we just needed to clean them up and we could avoid the refinishing.  Sweet!  We were able to take the floors we purchased back to home depot and reveled in the unexpected bonus. 

A few days later, we had our anniversary.  An idea stolen from good friends:  every year we alternate who plans the adventures for that day.  This was Shaun's year.  My sweet husband took off of work and we started the morning as a family and headed to the mall.  He sent me to get a pedicure and a haircut.  Two things that I rarely ever do for myself, so I appreciate them so much.  He and the kids ran around the mall and had themselves a ball.  Then he helped me pick a new shirt out, (and he has great taste, so this was fun for both of us).  We met his mom for a quick lunch then we went on a secret adventure. 

He drove us to the church that we were married in and set up having our awesome friend Kyle there to take some candid pictures of the whole family.  We showed the kids the church and let them clamber around.  (Bean was captivated! Weddings!  Big windows!  PRETTINESS!  It was very cute).  It was fun to reminisce about how far we've come as a family since that day. 

Then we got some ice cream and sent the kids to Shaun's parents' house for the evening.  We had a FANTASTIC dinner at La Scala in Little Italy and enjoyed taking our time and talking together. 

But then...  then the evil kidney stones came back.  By the time we got Sayer and headed home, my kidney was screaming.  It got worse and worse until I couldn't handle it anymore and for the first time out of all of my attacks, I woke Shaun and told him we had to go into the hospital.  Took Sayer back to my in-laws where he tried to party til 4am.  I got some relief at the hospital and was back home the next morning, better and on the mend with more effective, (and safe) drugs in case of another attack. 

That was Monday into Tuesday.  On Wednesday evening, Shaun pulled the rest of the carpet up and realized something quite sad...  there were enough blemishes and scratches to really necessitate a good refinishing.  So he looked at me and sent me away, back up to Deep Creek.  Three hours each way with three kids. Alone.  Eep!  But, with the promise of returning home on Saturday, I figured I could handle three days and two nights.  Plus, I have the best grandparents ever and the kids absolutely delight in being there. 

Saturday rolled around and I was pretty done with being completely disconnected from my cell phone and the internet, (I know, leave me alone), so we decided to head home.  However, due to some complications, the floors weren't finished.  So we ended up staying at my fantastic sister-in-law's place, (they're at the beach).

And we're still here.  It's Wednesday.  We SHOULD be back home either tomorrow or Friday.  Although, the more time that passes, the easier it gets.  The kids are getting used to the new rooms and routines and actually, are sleeping fairly well.  (Sayer crashed for 9.5 hours straight last night... Ah-mazing).  I can handle anything on good sleep.  But I miss my  bed and my husband, (he's at our house so he can let the dogs out), and the familiar routine of being in our house.

So there... there you have our craziness for the last two or three weeks.  Oh yes, and I'm still all pregnant and craving weird foods.  (And who am I kidding?  Acting like a loon, too).  If you actually read all of this, not only do you have more of a knowledge of our happenings lately than most.  And you deserve a brownie.  So, come visit and I'll bake a batch.  I might eat a few, but I'll share. 

That's that!  Now that I've given you every excuse in the book for my absence, (kidney stones!  lack of internet!  no camera cord!  sleepless kids!  conferences!  laziness!  wait, what?!)

But I'm back, Jack.  :)

5 Random Randoms

1.  Turdles - I dare you to look at this and not laugh.  However, upon more investigation, I've come to discover that a "turdle" is actually a turtle shaped item made from some sort of dung to fertilize gardens.  The garden accessory that you've always wanted! Also, the guy in the pic is apparently a bit of a cult hit in his funny but irreverent Etsy shop, which can be found here. 

2.  I had a dream last night starring a ghetto squirrel wearing a knit hoodie that said, "What The Suck?!"  It was literally knit into the sweater, as if his fuzzy little squirrel grandmom lovingly took the time to put it into the design in a nicely contrasting yarn.  Every time I looked at him, he'd tip his head sideways, look at me and say, "Whaaaaaaaa?" while flashing a gang sign.  It. Was. Weird.  Thank you pregnancy.

3.  There's this: 

No, I don't know why I look like a loon.  Nor do I know why my sister looks confused.  Maybe she's wondering why I'm cackling behind her.  There are rarely reasons for my cackle. 

4.  Right around Christmas, we're driving to TX.  With three kids.  and 6 month pregnant me.  Yes, driving.  In 2.5 days.  I am TERRIFIED.  Start sending your travel tips now.  (And chocolate.  And money for the therapist bills.  And fried rice wouldn't hurt).

5.  It's 10:30 in the morning.  I've already had a Heritage Dr. Pepper, (they're baaaaack!), some water, a bowl of cereal, some peach slices, a chocolate chip cookie, (not sure how I stopped at one), and three giant bowls of salad.  Moving onto ice cream, apples, cheese, and perhaps watermelon before noon. 

C'mon, gimme something random about YOU.

A Sticky Situation

Shaun worked a bit late yesterday and I felt that as a result, I deserved a delicious, indulgent fountain Dr. Pepper. 

(Oh Dr. Pepper, I'm trying to quit you...  well, my extra 10 pounds are... but you're just so dang good).

Anyway, I couldn't justify hauling all three kids out solely for a drive thru run, so I decided to hit the post office and the library as well.  At the post office, I got weirdly brave and went in without the stroller to save myself a bit of time.  Carrying Sayer, I led the girls in hand-in-hand.  Bean carried my package and C, a letter.  God apparently wanted to smile at me as there was absolutely no line and we were in and out in minutes. 

I packed them back into the car and headed toward the library, buoyant with confidence. 

I mean, really, I had just hauled three kids on an errand, no stroller, no tears, no whining, no drama.  Hot stuff, yes, that was me. 

So, we got to the library and after considering the success and ease of the earlier stroller-less outing, I decided to have another go. 

I carried all 24 pounds of Mr. Meatball in one arm and led the girls by the other hand.  This time Bean carried the library bag.  The empty library bag. 

And all in all, the library went well.  Then I realized that I had to pick up Meatball in one arm and 154 pounds of library books in the now VERY full library bag in the other.  And somehow I needed to manage to make sure that my daredevil second born wouldn't go skipping off across the parking lot.  Also, all the while, I needed to try to hurry my dawdling first born from her flower smelling tendencies. 

It was like herding cats.  Sayer continually took my sunglasses off and tried to smash them back on my face, complicating the whole line of sight thing.  C insisted in walking the curb instead of on the sidewalk.  And with every warning to please get back on the sidewalk, she dipped her toe onto the asphalt below and grinned at me, daring me to make a move to grab her. 

Somehow, we made it to the car unscathed. 

As I was lifting Sayer into his seat, I noticed a piece of the fruit leather that I had handed him after the post office to quiet his squawking when he noticed the girls had one and he didn't.  (Oh yes, that stage has finally started and it's de-LIGHT-ful.  Or not). 

I grabbed it and flung it over my shoulder. 

Now, I live on a dirt road.  When I get the kids out of the car and notice some remnant of snack in their seats, I toss it out onto the gravel or grass.  Squirrel food, you know? 

Except...  I wasn't in my driveway.  I was parked next to another car. 

I heard a weird THWACK sound and slowly turned my head around.  The renegade fruit leather was neatly stuck to the side window of a honkin' white sedan parked next to my Swagger Wagon.

I cast a furtive glance around the parking lot and noticed a older woman headed towards me with her keys in hand.  With my back smashed up against the sticky window, I swiped my hand back and forth, trying to find the stupid fruit leather.  With each motion, the muttered words under my breath grew a bit more furtive and a lot more colorful.  After 67 unsuccessful sweeping motions, I finally smacked it to the ground and then rubbed my shirt on the window to get the last of the residue.

From the safety of my front seat, I scrutinized the window.  Satisfied that all evidence of the trespassing fruit leather had been removed, we hightailed it for home.

I'm still not sure whether that car belonged to the woman walking towards us... we escaped a bit too quickly.  If it was and she happened to catch sight of my frantic actions, the only thing we left behind was a good story for the woman to tell about the frazzled looking mom in a blue van doing a weird bear tree shimmy.

Silly Is As Silly Does

The girls have been running around wearing a pair of sunglasses that were missing a lens.  I decided to pop the other lens out and add the frames to the dress-up box.  Instant hit.  So much so that we all joined in on the action.  Enjoy a glimpse of our fun:

We're a little quirky... but we like it that way :)

I Didn't Get Eaten By Porcupine Turtles, I Promise

I'm around, really.  I'm coming off of what was one of the worst weeks I've had since Sayer's been born, really...   because of how exhausted and overwhelmed I was. 

But now I'm feeling quite a bit less foggy.  It helps that the smallest munchkin is sleeping in slightly longer increments and I'm going to bed at a slightly more decent hour.  (Read 9pm instead of 11... I know, I'm an old fart, leave me alone). 

So alas, here I am! 

And to celebrate?  5 quick thoughts from the mind o' JennyJenJen  (But really, don't ever call me Jenny.  The ONLY person who I ever let do that was my high school soccer coach... and that was mainly because I don't think I could have been the one to break the "EE" endings on our team... Katie, Jackie, Amy, Julie, Becky, etc... )

1.  I make the best guacamole in the world.  An avocado, half of a red pepper - diced, some black beans, a splash of lime juice, a smidge of salsa, (my preferred brand is Trader Joe's Tomatillo and Yellow Chili Salsa), a tiny bit of garlic salt, ample sprinkles of smoked paprika and some cumin.  You're welcome.  (Yes, it's that good). 

2.  I'm mildly obsessed with several things:  Sweet Leaf Mint 'N Honey Tea, (made with spearmint instead of peppermint... holy cow, delicious), Lady Gaga's "Alejandro," (shut up, SHUT UP, I know), the aforementioned guacamole, baby kisses (that don't turn into bites... not so fond of those), and hearing my girls giggle together over the baby monitor. 

3.  I wish someone would come up with an Android app for Blogger as well as a decent feedreader.  If you know of one, let me know.  (For that matter, any app suggestions would be awesome... because I need more things to waste my time). 

4.  How often do you people clean out your kitchen trash can?  I mean, really... because I did it tonight and HOLY GROSSNESS, people. 

5.  I stress clean minutiae.  See above.  Also, the other day, I took every magnet off of the fridge and WASHED them.  (And the refrigerator as well).  I've been known to organize sock and erm, undergarment drawers.  I sort my closet by color and or sleeve length.  Weird, I know.  Today I moved onto slightly bigger things...  cleaning out the refigerator, reorganizing kids toys...  I suppose I'm just avoiding laundry.  I'm good at that. 

Anyway, I'll be back tomorrow with normal posting.  (Isn't this normal?) 

1 and 2 and 3

I knew everything about parenting before I had kids. After all, I was once a teenager, muttering under my breath, "When I have kids, I'll NEVER do that."

(Don't pretend you never did that... you so did).

My first born was an easy baby. She fit nicely into my little idealistic idea of how to parent. Dare I say, perfect baby?  She was close. 

And of course, it was all because I was quite obviously super mom.

Then I had my second baby. My dear, sweet, willful, stubborn, freakishly smart C.

And then my third... a ball of cuddly cuteness with a smile that already is getting him out of trouble.

And I recently realized, my supermom pattern had crumbled quite a bit since my pre-child days.

Exhibit A:  Starting Solids

Kid 1 - Only homemade organic purees, vegetables first.
Kid 2 - Mashed up bananas, avocados and the like, interspersed with jarred food. Attempts at vegetables first foiled by angry shrieks from the hungry baby. Fruits and grains ruled.
Kid 3 - Random pieces of whatever we're having for dinner are tossed onto his tray to quell the squawking. I'm not quite sure he knows what a vegetable is.

Exhibit B:  Clothing

Kid 1 - Impeccable, perfectly matched ensembles, complete with adorable hats. 
Kid 2 - Quickly surveyed hand-me-downs.  If it's not stained, it works quite well.
Kid 3 - Who says pajamas aren't clothing? 

Exhibit C:  Television

Kid 1 - No television for as long as possible.  First program is a carefully screened educational piece that I watch and talk about with her.  TV is NEVER a babysitter.
Kid 2 - Begins to see TV shows earlier due to her sister's viewing.  Likes TV.  Learns how to say words from TV.  I only feel slightly guilty. 
Kid 3 - He is enamored by TV.  I feel no guilt at turning it on so I can do the dishes/pee/eat candy in piece. 

Exhibit D:  Naps

Kid 1 - All activities are planned carefully around a perfectly timed nap schedule. 
Kid 2 - Most naps are at home or at least in the car.
Kid 3 - Naps on me for the first 5 months of his life.  When you're tired enough, you can sleep anywhere. 

Exhibit E:  Toys

Kid 1 - Toys are generally chosen on educational merit or their ability to inspire imaginative play. 
Kid 2 - Plays with the cast offs of her older sister.  Perpetually finding new uses for old toys.
Kid 3 - Plays happily with a water bottle, a rock, and a box of tissues.  Why did we buy toys again?

Exhibit F:  Treats

Kid 1 - Treats are a rare occasion, reserved for special events or holidays. 
Kid 2 - Occassionally gets treats thrown in her general direction to buy Mama a moment of peace. 
Kid 3 - I gave him his medicine today in between bites of chocolate frosting and a marshmallow. 

Enough said.


(And I know I'm not the only one who let go of hard and fast parenting "rules" after the kids were actually born... c'mon, fess up.)

The Girl is Crafty Like Ice is Cold!

I'm a little manic when it comes to crafty things.  I get a notion to start on some sort of creative endeavor and throw myself headlong into it with little regard to anything else. 

Like, cleaning my house. 

Or feeding my kids.

(Kidding.  Er, sort of). 

Anyway, this past weekend, we threw a surprise shower for Michelle, my lovely sister-in-law, and I got one of those notions.  I was searching for cupcake decorating ideas and came across a picture of a diaper cake.

"Dude," I said to myself... "Dude!  I CAN MAKE THAT!"

And so, off to the store I flew, gathering supplies and giggling through ribbon samples.  (I get a little looney when struck with an idea... surprise anyone?)

Anyway, I came home an hour later and within 15 minutes, with the invaluable help of Robin, I had assembled this:

It's not perfect, but I'll be darned if it's not freakin' festive.

I'm thinking of posting some steps if anyone's interested?

In any case, life can resume now that I got that out of my system.

A Comedy of Errors

The other night, we visited Shaun at a local camp where he was running a retreat.  After a very, very long drive to the camp, we got the girls a slice of pizza and then Shaun deposited us at the dorms. 

Without a room key.

Thankfully, we found a television that continually showed Sprout, so the little natives were quiet for about 11 seconds.

One of the college kids dropped by, brought us a key, and helped me load our stuff into the room.  I stared at the king size bed for a second.  Then I stared at our three children.  Then I mentally added Shaun to the mix.  5 people, 3 of them very small, but very wiggly, and 1 bed. 

Hmm.

Five minutes later, I managed to haul two renegade mattresses into the room, complete with bedding, and I positioned them strategically next to the bed. 

It only took forever, but I wrestled three kids into pj's, found the necessary blankets, and tucked the girls in.

8:30pm.  Not bad!

I settled down to nurse Sayer and a tiny voice piped up.

"Mama?  MAMA!?  I don't wanna seep on da floor.  I no like it.  I can come see you?"

So up C came.  I figured we'd move her back down at some point after she settled to sleep. 

Thirty seconds later,

"Mama?  Mama?  Can I please come up too?  I'm a little scared all by myself down here."

So Bean came up as well. 

Two little girls, a mama, and a nursing babe all in a row on a giant bed.  Bean fell asleep relatively quickly, but was getting over a cold, so she hacked and coughed and thrashed.  Every single time she coughed, C asked, "Lessi?  Whatcho doing?"

At one point, Bean's arm flopped onto a drowsy and finally quieting C. 

Which happened to be right as I was lowering a sleeping Sayer into his bed.

"NO LESSI!  NO TOUCHING ME!  AHHHHH!  NO NO NO!"

Sayer woke up. 

Bean thrashed back to  her own side of the bed. 

C was unsatisfied by the lack of reactions in the room and continued on...

"NO touching me.  NO."  *pause*  "Mama?  Whatcho doing?  What's Lessi doing?  I touch her!"

"NO!  C, do NOT touch your sister!  She's sleeping!  Close your eyes!  Do you need to go on your bed?"

She screwed her eyes shut and shook her head.  The room was quiet for about 43 seconds.


"Mama?  Whatcho doing?  Whatcho doing Sayer?  Mama?  I touch Sayer.  I pat him.  TICKLE TICKLE!"


"C!  NO tickling your brother!  He's back to sleep!  Close your eyes."


"OK Mama."  *pause*  "Mama?  Whatcho doing?"

"Nothing baby girl.  Close. Your. Eyes."

"OK"  *pause*  "Mama?  Mama?  MAMA!?"

"What, C?!"

"Whatcho doing?"


Ad nausem.  Until 10:30.  If I ever go back to school, she's the girl who's pulling my all nighters. 


And now that I'm back, I'd love to know...  whatcho doing? 

Seems I Forgot a Few...

So, after my last post on the 5 parenting absolutes, I realized I forgot a few...

6.  Kids falling asleep in the car 3 minutes before you get home.  You've just spent the last 30+ minutes dancing like a marionette, singing show tunes, and throwing toys at to your drowsy children only to get distracted for one brief second.  Then you hear... nothing.  You hear dreaded silence and frantically peer back only to see closed eyes and gaping mouths.  Trails of drool are the harbinger of doom.  Goodbye afternoon nap. 

7.  All hell breaking loose when you pick up the phone.  The kids are sitting quietly, coloring and telling each other how very much they love their each other.  Rainbows and sunshine emanate from their every pore. You quietly get up and slide into another room for a quick phone call.  As soon as the other person says hello, it begins.  "MOM! SHE'S HITTING ME! OWOWOWOWOWWWWWWW! STOP HITTING MEEEEE!  MOM!MOM!MOM!MOM!MOOOOOM!  I WANT A COOKIE! I WANT A CRACKER! I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS AND A PORSCHE! MOOOOOOM!  WHAT ARE YOU DOOOOOING?  MOOOOOM!  WHERE ARE YOU!?"   Hiding from them to finish your phone call is OK.  Hiding from them for the rest of the day?  Probably not. 

8.  Long naps when you have to be somewhere.  Nothing is more unpredictable and more irritating than infant sleep.  You pray daily for a nap that lasts longer than 15 minutes ohfortheloveofeverythinggoodandholy.  Then you have to be at the doctor's/dentist's/etc. at a random time.  15 minute nap?  No problem.   That'll give you plenty of time to get there.  And of course, that's the day the baby decides he'll test out a 2 hour nap.  Of course.  (And depending on how insanely sleep deprived you are, you absolutely will consider eating the $25 appointment cancellation fee as a small price to pay for a period of rest.  But don't think about trying to catch a nap while the baby does... they KNOW). 

9.  Kids repeating the bad word you said in traffic in front of your pastor/grandmom/new neighbor.  "Mama?  What's an 'ass?'"  "Huh?  What?!  SHHHH.  Nothing."  "But Mama, you said, "ass" yesterday in the car!  What's an "ass?"  Oh, hi Pastor Mike/Grandmom/Formerly Friendly But Now Horrified New Neighbor!"  I won't tell if you pretend it's another word for "donkey" and you claim to be explaining the nativity. 

10.  The baby will sneeze, barf or poop on you last clean outfit before you have to go out.  This is a given.  Once you are gussied up and ready to head out on your hot date, DO NOT PICK UP THE BABY.  I don't care how adorably he smiles at you.  I don't care how much you want another snuggle.  That baby will leak all over your spiffy date clothes and laugh while you scramble through piles of laundry for something that doesn't smell like regurgitated cheerios or something that doesn't have iridescent snot trails on the shoulder.  Good luck with that.  Don't say I didn't tell you.

11.  Mysterious worrisome symptoms will disappear immediately upon entering doctor's office.  Your child wakes at 4am complaining of a belly ache.  You reach to pick her up and realize she's got a major fever.  Upon turning the light on, you also see she's covered in spots.  And then, she barfs on you.  Your doctor is concerned and wants to see her first thing in the morning.  As soon as you pull up to the doctor's office and peel off the 11 layers you piled on your feverish, puking, spotty child, she perks up and you notice that not only is she fever free, but her spots are gone and she's complaining that she's hungry.  Goodbye $20 copay. 

I know there are more... Got any good ones?

Overheard in the House of Loonies...

"C, NO!  You may not brush Sayer's teeth!  Sayer doesn't HAVE teeth!"

"No, baby girl, toilet water is NOT for drinking."

"Mama, feed?"
"C, you want to eat?"
"FEED!"  (And with that, she climbs on my lap, onto the recently vacated Boppy and puts her face to my stomach for a few seconds before sitting up with a satisfied expression), "I FEED!" 

"Mama, yelly bean!  Floor!  EAT IT!"
"No, no C!  Don't eat a jelly bean from the floor!"
"Eat!"   (And then she opens her mouth, her tongue tinted a tell-tale green.  Too late, it seems). 

"Mama, look!  Your baby!" 
(And then Bean pokes me in the stomach.  Um, NO.)

"Hey Mommy!  You're awake!  Why...  why is your face angry?  Be happy!  You're awake!"
(I manage a half smile...  hey, it was pre-caffeine).
"There!  That's better.  Rise and shine and give God the Lory Glory!"

A Poll - Indulge Me, Please?

So, answer me this, my friends...

Is it completely nosy to ask a friend if they're planning/hoping to have more children?

Or is that one of those utterly taboo questions you should leave well enough alone? 

Obviously, exceptions made for very close friends, (who most would ask) and near strangers, (who I imagine most wouldn't).

Weigh in, folks! 

I'm Still Pregnant

No, I'm not off having a baby or anything.  I'll let y'all know, I promise. 

My absence has been partially due to an insane amount of nesting.  (And really, you can nest and nest and nest and your kids will take apart all of your hard work so you have to do it again.  Satisfying to the nesting part of me..  maddening to the rest of me). 

And also, we're in the final stages of the downstairs bathroom install and I can't currently get into my computer area because they're putting the tile down by and in the bathroom. 

So anyway, lots to say, not a lot of time as of right now to say it.  I'm hoping to have regular postings up for all of next week.

(And for those of you who, like me, didn't get to go to BlogHer09, my posts will have NOTHING to do with it, so perhaps some refreshing reads?  :)

Have a lovely weekend everyone!

Things I Wonder

1.  Why food totally tastes better when you're not in your high chair. 

2.  Why dirt is more preferrable to food on any given day.

3.  Where baby socks go when they disappear in the wash machine.  (From a laundry bag, no less!)

4.  Why the inevitable priceless picture moment happens directly after you put the camera down.

5.  Why sweet sister play sessions always turn into wrestling matches.

Just some thoughts.  :)