Parents Say the Weirdest Things

Kids are notorious for saying ridiculous stuff. Stuff like, "Mommy? My hair tastes like tree bark!"

What?

Yeah.

But parents say their share of bizarre stuff. We are normal, (ha), rational people felled into ridiculousness by these small people that come into our lives.

The first time I realized this was when Lex was about one and a half and I had to tell her, "PLEASE stop licking the dishwasher!"

Who says that stuff?

Parents.

My latest happened yesterday. Lately, Sayer (2.5) has thought it funny to run around trying to lick people. Thankfully, he's limited it to when he's in his house so far. But yesterday, we went to the park and he branched out.

I called to him and told him to, "stop chasing your sisters and trying to lick them!" (They didn't want to be licked... Gee. Imagine that). He looked at me, stopped chasing the girls, and ambled over to the slide.

Pleased that he listened, I went back to helping the littlest navigate the steps. (Yes, Z is terrifyingly agile).

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Sayer leaning forward on the slide. With his tongue out. Then he raised his head, looked at me and giggled.

Repulsed, I exclaimed, "EW! Sayer! Are you licking the slide?!'

Of course, Caly saw my reaction and jumped in to add her own tongue to the mix.

So I had two kids licking the park slide. The park slide where a squirrel probably peed.

Of course, I did what any good mother would do.

I took pictures.

And then I yelled, "GUYS! STOP LICKING THE SLIDE!"

And then I reflected on the weirdness of being a parent.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever said to your kids?