Surrender

I think when you're handed your kid for the first time, you inadvertently sign a contract that waives your rights to certain privileges for all occasions in the  foreseeable future.

1.  Personal Space - From the beginning, small children thrive when invading your personal space.  Your baby wants to be held?  He or she has NO qualms squealing until you pick them up and snuggle them.  This is why babies are cute.  So we don't mind the invasion so much.  Then they get bigger and gain this weird need to try to climb back into your body.  Or at least that's what you assume they're doing as they jockey for space on your head.

2.  Your Right to be Alone in the Bathroom - You will rarely, if ever, go to the bathroom without a little person "keeping you compa-dee" or at the very least, pounding on the door and little fingers sticking things under the cracks.  Efforts to instill a barrier with the lock will result in at least one of your children becoming a stellar locksmith.

3.  Regular Showers - Remember the days when you showered every morning or every evening?  Remember when you didn't feel the need to lean your face down for a covert sniff to see if you're passable for public interaction?  Yeah, me neither.  Also, if you manage to get a shower, don't expect to complete it without a little face snatching back the curtain, peering in, and saying, "Mama?  Whatcho doing?"

4.  Eating Your Whole Plate of Food, By YOURSELF - You can serve the exact same dinner on two plates, giving one to your child and keeping one for yourself and every single time, you'll find your child eying your plate up and saying, "Mommy?  I want a bite of YOUR food!"  It's even worse when you try to eat something different than what they have.  Never mind that they have formerly professed their undying hatred of broccoli. If it's on your plate, it's suddenly as appetizing as a candy bar.  But obviously, forget using this to get your kids to eat vegetables.  They'll see through your plan in a hot second.

5.  White Clothing Items/Dressy Clothes- I think this is a no-brainer.  You can only fend off sticky fingers for so long.  And if you manage to get dressed to go out, you'll lean down to give your kid a hug and they'll do one of the following:  a) Throw-up on you.  b) Wipe boogers on you.  c) Have a marker in hand when they hug you.  Etc.

"But I wanna HUG, Mama!"

It's a darn good thing they're so cute.

12 Days of Christmas - Parent Style

I'm sure this has been done many times over, but it was too fun to think up, so I'm continuing the trend...  And hereeeeee weeeee gooooooo!  Sing along!

On the first day of Christmas, my children gave to me...  a lego embedded in my knee...

On the second day of Christmas, my children gave to me...  2 naked kidlets and a lego embedded in my knee...

On the third day of Christmas, my children gave to me... 3 slobbery kisses, 2 naked kidlets and a lego embedded in my knee...

On the fourth day of Christmas, my children gave to me... 4 missing cookies, 3 slobbery kisses, 2 naked kidlets and a lego embedded in my knee...

On the fifth day of Christmas, my children gave to me... 5! Mismatched Socks! (Ba Dum Dum Dum)  4 missing cookies, 3 slobbery kisses, 2 naked kidlets and a lego embedded in my knee...

On the sixth day of Christmas, my children gave to me...  6 temper tantrums, 5! Mismatched Socks! (Ba Dum Dum Dum)  4 missing cookies, 3 slobbery kisses, 2 naked kidlets and a lego embedded in my knee...

On the seventh day of Christmas, my children gave to me... 7 brand new wall marks, 6 temper tantrums, 5! Mismatched Socks! (Ba Dum Dum Dum)  4 missing cookies, 3 slobbery kisses, 2 naked kidlets and a lego embedded in my knee...

On the eighth day of Christmas, my children gave to me... 8 scorned veggies, 7 brand new wall marks, 6 temper tantrums, 5! Mismatched Socks! (Ba Dum Dum Dum)  4 missing cookies, 3 slobbery kisses, 2 naked kidlets and a lego embedded in my knee...

On the ninth day of Christmas, my children gave to me... 9 calls for "DORA!" 8 scorned veggies, 7 brand new wall marks, 6 temper tantrums, 5! Mismatched Socks! (Ba Dum Dum Dum)  4 missing cookies, 3 slobbery kisses, 2 naked kidlets and a lego embedded in my knee...

On the tenth day of Christmas, my children gave to me... 10 snow day layers, 9 calls for "DORA!" 8 scorned veggies, 7 brand new wall marks, 6 temper tantrums, 5! Mismatched Socks! (Ba Dum Dum Dum)  4 missing cookies, 3 slobbery kisses, 2 naked kidlets and a lego embedded in my knee...

On the 11th day of Christmas, my children gave to me...  11 rolling giggles, 10 snow day layers, 9 calls for "DORA!" 8 scorned veggies, 7 brand new wall marks, 6 temper tantrums, 5! Mismatched Socks! (Ba Dum Dum Dum)  4 missing cookies, 3 slobbery kisses, 2 naked kidlets and a lego embedded in my knee...

On the 12th day of Christmas, my children gave to me...  12 funny stories, 11 rolling giggles, 10 snow day layers, 9 calls for "DORA!" 8 scorned veggies, 7 brand new wall marks, 6 temper tantrums, 5! Mismatched Socks! (Ba Dum Dum Dum)  4 missing cookies, 3 slobbery kisses, 2 naked kidlets and a... lego embedded in my kneeeeeeee...

Merry, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!

(This year's money shot.  Way worth it :)

That Dreaded Day

It came.  The day I was dreading.

The day that the two year old started to drop her naps.

To be fair, she still naps most days, but oy, she makes a big, fat, hairy deal about it.  Or she makes a big, fat, hairy deal about bedtime later.  So I'm left treading the precarious balance between getting her to take a nap, but not a long nap, and then, making sure that she runs enough energy off to snuggle down easily for bedtime later.

It doesn't help that she is FULLY her mother's daughter in the lack of sleep = complete crankiness department. So skipping naps, while easier in the short term, is most certainly not easy at 6pm.   (Her sister has my genes in the lack of food = complete crankiness department...  what can I say?  I like to sleep.  And eat).

Sometime around 4 am, she's also been having bad dreams.  So she sounds hysterical, one of us runs to get her, and generally, she snuggles in between us and crashes again.  (I really don't mind... she's VERY warm and VERY still, unlike her spider monkey sister who ends up with her toes in my ears on the rare occasions she ends up in our room).

So yes, the child is a sleeping mystery lately.

Two nights ago, I was trying rather unsuccessfully to convince her that she was NOT coming into my bed at bedtime like she demanded to do and that she was going to lie down under her blankets, snuggle her night-nights, and go. to. sleep.

She wasn't buying it.  There was much weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Shaun and I alternated to see what we could do to get the kid to calm down, (and conversely, quiet down enough to let her sister fall asleep), and finally I started asking questions.  The first one I asked proved to start a rather interesting conversation,

"Caly, honey...  what's the matter?"

"I had a bad dream, Mama...  a bad dream!"   Nevermind that she hadn't actually fallen asleep yet... I was on to her but I figured I'd let her finish...

"Alright kiddo... well, tell me about it.  What was the dream about?"

She sniffled, looked up, and flatly said, "You."

Um, excuse me?!  I know I can get scary when I don't have my dinner, but geez, I'm not THAT scary!

"Um, Caly?  Me?"

"Yup."

WHAT THE HECK DO I SAY TO THAT, PEOPLE!?

I chose complete avoidance.

"Oooook.  So, um, let's talk about some good things to dream about...  What do you think?"

She thought for a second, and then... "I think...  I think that I could maybe dream about... froggies.  And you, and Daddy and Lexi and Sayer."

So there you have it...  I can be scary enough for a fake bad dream...  but I come in as a very close second behind froggies as the top good dream, too.  I'll take it.  I think.

(And it's worth noting?  Right after that, she rolled over and went to sleep without a peep).

Quite a Sniffer

My 2 year old daughter has a remarkable sense of smell.  There are days when she's the first to notice her brother's um... odor, "Moooooooooooommmy!  I smell poopy!  Sayer has a stinky bottom!"  And alas, she's right, every time. 

I chalked it up to her head being closer to the source of said smell. 

Then she started commenting on other smells.  While she played with her sister in their room, I heated up the oven and made a quick pizza.  Ten minutes into baking, she wandered in, "Mommy?  I smell pizza."  I assumed she had seen my prep or heard me talking about it. 

But she kept it up, often at times that I was 100% certain she couldn't have known about the source ahead of time... like this morning, when I hid in the kitchen and stuffed a chocolate cookie in my mouth.  I finished, washed it down with some milk and rejoined the kids in the living room.  Caly walked by my seat on the sofa, paused, turned back, sniffed and said, "Mommy.  I smell chocolate.  Where's my chocolate? Can I have some chocolate?"

She's like a bloodhound.  Who calls me out when I sneak off for a treat. 

But then there are times when she gets kind of bizzare...  two days ago we were in the car, quietly listening to Christmas music when she pipes up from the back, "Moooooomy...  I smell...  I smell...  I smell elephants."

Even a bloodhound misses the trail sometimes. 

But I'm still totally going to hide a bottle of mouthwash next to my cookie stash. 

TweetThanks! And The TweetThanks Challenge

A simple tweet suggesting people join me in starting the day with thanks has snowballed into something worth being thankful for.  One by one, my friends started posting things ranging from the mundane to the magnificent.  The tone of my twitter stream started to change...  complaints decreased and people were taking time to count their blessings. 

This caught the eye of a friend who took the idea and ran with it.  http://www.tweetthanks.com/ was born.  Now, TweetThanks is no longer a random collection of thankful thoughts, it's the beginning of a movement. 

If you go to the site, you can post your own thankful thought, regardless of whether you're generally on twitter, facebook, neither... whatever.  Because really... starting the day with a thankful thought, or even just focusing on the good things in your day, makes a difference in the day as a whole.  And if you're feeling uninspired, I totally invite you to stop by and read the thoughts of others.  It'll brighten your day, I promise. 

And now?  We're starting another initiative.  Instead of simply collecting thanks we are trying to give others something to be thankful for.  Here's the deal:

For the next 7 days, TweetThanks, through the generosity of a donor, will give $.50 to http://www.feedamerica.com/ for every person who either:

1.  Newly follows @TweetThanks on twitter and posts a #tweetthanks or @tweetthanks tweet. 
or
2.  Joins the http://www.tweetthanks.com/ and creates a post with a sentence of thanks.

(Maximum total donation for this portion: $250).  Best part?  This doesn't cost you a dime, just a moment or two of your time, (and a thankful thought of course). 

And, if you're feeling particularly giving, consider making your own donation to http://www.feedamerica.com/.  Every donation will be matched by TweetThanks through a donor. Please forward your donation confirmation email to t@tweetthanks.com so we can keep track of donation totals for matching purposes. (Maximum total donation match for this portion: $250). 

So conceiveably, the people of TweetThanks could donate a total of $750 to http://www.feedamerica.com/.  How cool is that?  Almost as cool as this:  Every donation made to Feed America is currently being matched through a grant.  So our $750 could become $1500.  According to their site, $25 feeds a family for a week.  $1500 could feed that family for over a year.  That's pretty awesome. 

Kindly post a comment on this blog letting me know which you did so we can tally up at the end of the 7 days. 

So here we go, people...  let's take our gratitude and use it to help others.  Spread the word!

Giveaway Winners!

The winner for the Yoplait Smoothies and blender is Grace!  Yay Grace!

 The winner for the FiberOne Bars is Emilie!  Woot Emilie!

Just a reminder, please leave a way to contact you when you comment.  Due to the time sensitive nature of these giveaways, I can't post a winner's name and hope they'll contact me at some point.  Next giveaway, I'll post a reminder!

Mornings By the Numbers

Right now, only two out of my three kids are dressed for the day.  One is in bright pink footie PJ's and considering that I'm not dressed in real clothes either, I'm counting it a win that no one is naked. 

The two littlest kids are putting a puzzle together.  Together.  Zero kids are fighting.  That's worth noting.

Well... The no fighting streak lasted 17.9 seconds. 

One kid is stationed under the kitchen table.  Why?  I don't know.  But she's quiet and entertained.  I learned never to bother a happy kid. 

They watched 1 hour of TV this morning. 

I got 10 minutes of cleaning done.  The other 50 minutes were spent procratinating.  I'm very, very good at that.  I've had 28 years of practice. 

I'm not going to mention how many stinky bottoms I've wiped. 

I've had at least 30 minutes of toasty snuggles.

The thermostat is set on 65.  We snuggle to stay warm.

There are 86 puzzle pieces on the floor.  Combine that with 105 acorns and you've got a veritable minefield. 

(Don't ask about the acorns).

We own about 15 baby dolls.  All of the kids love them.  However, they usually all love the same baby doll at the same time.  One coveted baby doll + 3 kids = 1 smile, 2 crankypants. 

Three kids make a ridiculous amount of noise.  But right now, it's happy noise. 

We've been through a pound of cheerios, 3 bananas, 2 apples, 1 giant mug of tea, 4 chocolate chip cookies (for me), 4 cups of milk and/or almond milk, some animal crackers, and 198 raisins.  It's 10:35am. 

Two kids are jumping off of the couch.  One kid is bound to get hurt.  He doesn't actually know how to jump... it's controlled falling. 

I'm praying for 5 inches of snow. 

I will run the dishwasher twice today. 

There are at least 5 silly bands floating around that look vaguely obscene.  My daughter assures me that they're princesses.  Right.

At the end of the day, I'll have:  12 books read, 11 presents bought, 10 socks matched, 9 snuggles given, 8 emails replied to, 7 thoughts blogged, 6 meals made, 5 coats hung, 4 shoes found, 3 kids hugged, 2  dogs run, 1 house cleaned and a partridge in a pear tree!  (If I'm lucky!)