Knock Knock...

Sayer's favorite (self-created) knock-knock joke of the moment:

"Knock-knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Ba-nana BUTT!"

And then he giggles. 

Then?

"Knock Knock!"

"Uh, who's there?"

"BA-NANA BUTT!"

And so on... and so on... and so on...

Who needs an actual punchline when you can crack yourself up?

Wordage

I have an insanely verbal 22 month old. Instead of focusing on two word sentences, the kid is speaking in paragraphs. I take little credit for this... it's just how he is. (At the current moment, he's over at the sink, grinning at me and saying, "I needa wash my hands! Dey are dirty!")  I love that he's verbal... especially when the sky is falling and all heck is breaking loose here. He's yet to master the art of guile, so I generally get a decent retelling of events:

"Cow-ee hit me!" or "I bonked Zoen!"

And it's handy when he's screaming for something:

"Sayer, what is it that you want?"

"I waaaaaaaant fench fies!"

I didn't have french fries, but at least I knew why he was shrieking.

I think he asked for french fries about 38 times in the course of that 30 minute car trip.  And then he fell asleep.  The next morning, he was all smiles.  I asked if he'd like breakfast, "Yeah!" and then I said, "How about cereal?"  He grinned, waited a beat, and said, "How bout.... fench fies!"

The kid is funny.  And apparently, thoroughly in touch with his emotions.  We were hanging out at my parents' house for dinner the other night and Zoen had just fallen asleep.  Caly started drumming on the kid table and Zoen startled awake.  I quickly shushed her and she stopped.  But because he thinks his sister hung the moon, Sayer had to start drumming too.

I had gone to check on the baby so my mom said, "Sayer, stop drumming on the table please."

He stopped.  But then he stuck his lip out, glared, and flung his arm onto the table.  Then he dropped his head onto his arm with a huff.

When we questioned, he lifted his head and said with perfect empasis, "I. Am. MAD!"  And then he dropped his head again.

We cracked up.  He looked up, grinned at our laughter, then replaced his smile with his mad face before flopping back onto his arm.

Oy.

Getting in the Groove

So, my house is clean and the children aren't trying to eat each other... thus? I shall blog!

OK, so now, since writing that first sentence, it's two hours later.  Why?

I have four kids.

That should answer everything, but in case you're really morbidly curious?

Lex brings in a blank notebook and wants me to help her write a song.  This involves spelling out the words she wants to use.

"Y-O-U"

Sayer and Caly get into a screaming match.  Lex screams to be heard over them, "HOW DO YOU SPELL YOU!?"

Sayer bonks Caly on the head.  More shouting commences. I try anyway,

"Y-O-U!"

Lex glares at her sister.  "MOMMY!  I CAN'T HEAR YOU! HOW DO YOU SPELL YOOOOOOU!?"

I break up the fighting duo and send them to different corners.

Baby starts fussing.  I sneak in his room to replace the pacifier. My sneaking was for naught... I have three little people in my wake, all seemingly uncomprehending the furtive "SHHHHHHHHHH's" that I'm doing.  Baby's awake.

I bounce the baby a bit to get gas bubble out.  He's cranky. Cries. Caly taunts Sayer with a book and then holds it over her head and says, "YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!" Sayer lunges towards her.  She shrieks and runs. He's faster, catches her, and when he can't reach the book, wacks her in the head again.

Once I sort out that mess, I turn back towards the computer.  I can type one handed, right?

I turn to ask Lexi a question in time to see Sayer lean on his bowl of cereal that he insisted he wasn't finished and send it careening onto the floor.  Being that it's dry cereal, it skitters all across the kitchen.

I change two poopy diapers.

The baby spits up on my otherwise clean shirt.

The 3 big kids and I take turns making the baby smile. Caly totally wins at this.

There's a brief scuffle over the rocking chair.  You know, the one that no one wants to use until someone else uses it.

(Why doesn't that work for eating veggies?)

We have an impromptu dance party.

I sneak away and eat a brownie.

When I turn around, Lex is in the doorway with her hands on her hips, "Mooooooooommmmy?  What are you doing?"  Caly appears and cuts to the chase, "Gimme a brownie."  I raise my eyebrows.

"Please."  She grins.

I share.

The kids hug my legs, inhale the brownies, and are off to some magical  land of imagination involving Bobo the dog, a cheese farm, dance class and a baby gym.

And here I am again.  Hiding in the bathtub with the door locked.

Kidding!

(Maybe)

Brothers In Cahoots

It's no secret that Sayer is enamored with his baby brother. He can't walk by the baby without giving him a kiss or tipping his head to the side and asking, "I hold Zoen, Mama, I hold Zoen?"

Half the time, he'll "hold" the baby and say, "He's laughing, Mama, he's LAUGHING!" Sometimes, I'll peer down and Z will be grinning away, other times? Zoen is fully asleep.  But hey, whatever encourages a good sibling relationship!

Yesterday, Sayer was sitting next to me on the floor as I changed Zoen's diaper.  I got distracted by something shiny, (the more tired I am, the easier it is... we've had a lot of half finished tasks around here lately), and the next thing I knew, I felt something on my leg... that unmistakable wet warmth.  I shrieked and jumped backwards before covering Z's er, bits, with a diaper.

Sayer looked at me and dissolved into giggles.  Then he got down next to Zoen's face, grinned at him, and said, "Do it again, brudder, do it again!"

Thank goodness Z doesn't have the control to follow Sayer's commands yet, because I have no doubt that little one will do exactly what his big brother asks.  (Which, combined with Sayer doing near everything his sisters ask? Um, might be dangerous).

Silly Kidlets

I'm having trouble forming coherent thoughts in the last few days... post Easter weekend exhaustion. But my kids? Yeah, they're not tired. And they're full of funny.

Two nights ago, I was snuggling with Sayer trying to wind him down for bed.  (As an aside: a friend said that the secret to getting her husband to sleep when he was a kid was to get him to stay still and stop talking. That is SO my kid).  Anyway, he would lay still for a few seconds at a time then start to wiggle and sing. At one point, he rolled towards me, veeeeeeeerrrrrry slowly and reached towards my face. I pretended to be resting to see what he was going to do. He gently pinched my cheek, then he brought his hand to his mouth and pretended to chew,

"Mmmm, more chicken?  Yup!"  Then he did it again. And again.  And then?  He rolled over and went to sleep. My sides hurt from trying not to laugh out loud. But hey, whatever works to get him to sleep!
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Right around Easter, the kids asked questions about the story and one of them requested the entire story of the life of Jesus, from Christmas, (his birthday), onward. The kids spontaneously decided to act it out.

Caly decided she wanted to play the part of baby Jesus. Which, of course, meant that baby Jesus needed... um, care...

"Maaaamaaa! I'm dirty! I need a diaper change!"

Lexi was horrified, "Caly! Baby Jesus did NOT poop in his pants!"

Heh.  They make me giggle.

A Few Moments in the Life of Four Kids

I get the question, "What's it like having four kids?" quite a bit. Most often, it's asked with a genuine tone of curiosity, but sometimes, (to my amusement), the person sounds like they're referring to a circus sideshow.

Which, I guess, it can be at times.

Shaun and I have exactly enough arms for four kids. So, when he's home, we can run the roost with relative efficiency.  It's when he's gone and I'm severely outnumbered that the fun starts.  The very first day he went back to work and left me in the clutches of the wild things alone to care for the 4 kidlets we call our own, things started well enough.  I managed to feed, entertain, change, and dress all of them.

And then, my beloved sister-in-law arrived with my nephew and niece to offer help with the transition.

So I sent the 3 biggest kids off to play in our basement playroom with their cousin and we stayed upstairs to hang out with the babies.

Oh, I guess here's a good moment to mention that we used to have a sandbox in our basement.  With sand. LOTS of sand.  (Yes, that's thanks to my slightly insane, but uber creative husband. He figured, what fun is a beach party without sand? And since you can't have a beach party outside in mid-January, he decided he'd bring the sand in for my 5 year old.  She was delighted. Of course).

So yes. We had a sandbox.  In the basement. But because the sand had a tendency to travel EVERYWHERE and kick up a ton of dust, I banned the kids from playing in it. They really did remarkably well listening over the course of weeks following the party, though occasionally, I'd have to fish Sayer out and redirect him.

Anyway, after 30 minutes or so of the kids playing awesomely together, Lex and her 5yo cousin, T, came racing upstairs and yelled in the same breath, "CALY AND SAYER ARE THROWING SAND AT US!!"

And then they giggled.

I was wrapping up a feeding session with my little guy and and was decidedly not as amused.

Then?  Then Caly came upstairs. Covered. Head to toe. With sand. And? She was smiling.

"Caly. Were you throwing sand?"

"Yes" She grinned widely.

The urge to crack up was competing furiously with the urge to yell at her.

So I hid behind a pillow.

Then?  Sayer came up.  I thought Caly was covered...  yeah, Sayer was COVERED.

"I DROW SAND, MAMA! I DROW SAND!"

I stayed behind my pillow, now shaking with insane giggles.

Lex piped up a few seconds later,

"Oh, Mama?  You might get mad...  they threw sand all over the bed in the spare room."

Oy.

I hauled myself off of the couch and went down to investigate.

If a crime of passion occurred between a starfish and a hermit crab, I think there would have been less sand strewn.  It was EVERYWHERE. In between the sheets of the spare bed. On the bookshelves. In the closet.  Sand exploded everywhere.

It was insanity.

Thankfully, Michelle was there to help me corral the kids into a bath and bed. A short time later, the basement was cleaned and the sand relocated to our deck, (by my handy hubs).

So yes, life with 4...  you were wondering?  Now?  Now you know.

Someone pass me some coffee.  I've a feeling I'm going to need it from here on out.

The One Where I Pun on Star Wars and Reveal My Inner Nerd

The other day, I had this exchange with Amy via text:

Amy: How are you holding up?

Me: I've decided that instead of alcohol, I need a beer helmet to administer caffeine.  But it needs a catchy name.

Amy:  Haha!! My phone autocorrected haha to Java.  Did my phone just name your invention?

Me: Java the Helmutt!*

Amy: HAHAH!

We're brilliant.  Oh, and we're totally up for investing partners, so if you're interested, you know who to contact. :)